Feeling lazy

One of my new year resolutions was to start writing rigorously. The first month did indeed start off with a bang, with a meticulous rehaul of my blogging sites. Putting all my writings that were scattered in every  possible folder on my computer and that I could identify, as a place “I must have saved what I had written”, was fun. There was so much joy in the entire exercise that I felt awkwardly rejuvenated just by the sight of the various categories and sub categories into which I had arranged the contents. I thought I was ready to be flung in the writing whirl.

As part of this resolution, I also prepared a performance plan around my literary goals. It looked promising. After quitting my full-time corporate job, I hadn’t had a performance plan in a while. While it was self-assuring to know that I did not need to have a self appraisal or a performance review, when I started off as a consultant, it equally gave me guilt pangs that my life seemed void of goals. I virtually have the goals placed here and there in my mind and can pluck each one from their resting places when and where needed, but soon I realised the importance of a performance plan with specific short-term and long-term goals since I had taken the task of writing quite seriously. Also, for the fact that I needed to have a regular review of the goals I have set for myself and also what I have accomplished so far. In the first month, I read a record four books. Something I could not do for years. (I still have the book reviews pending). I signed up to be an author for one of the widely read women’s portals. I even managed to post three articles.

For so much that happened in January,  today I feel miserably miserable that for the past two weeks I haven’t written anything significant. Leave alone my work-in-progress Novel, not even a single post on my blog. So I thought I should simply grab my computer and let my fingers lead my mind and thus happened this post. So what is it that I want to convey in this post by way of compulsive blabber. A few points to keep in mind if you are chasing a seemingly difficult goal.

  1. Stay focused
  2. Revisit your goals often
  3. Motivate yourself
  4. Always be on the go
  5. Last but never the least, believe in yourself

Writing is a painful process, it is a metamorphosis of our emotions and thoughts into beautiful lines that have the potential of a lethal sting. We are one species that can paralyse a soul and still roam around free and in turn be lauded for the act. And, as with any form of art, you need to chisel out your creation time and again to obtain the most flawless form that you yourself may envy. Your writing becomes better and better with each progressing word, each progressing sentence and every progressing  paragraph. It is a magic you perform oblivious of the act itself. You can see for yourself, that this very post has had some impact towards the end.

What started off as a rant or a motivational exercise has begun to end with some stark revelations. And now, I feel less miserable and more fulfilled. I have reinstated my faith in writing. I too can write. I too can translate my thoughts into meaningful sentences.

I now need to practise this exercise of ‘compulsive writing’ until writing comes easily and obviously and undettered, to me. Until it becomes a part of me and my existence. Until I unleash all that is lurking beneath the cloak of my yesteryears.

 

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